Murder by Griffins
by Ronin Karma
Summary: Numerous people who have a dog have been constantly murdered and it's up to the Griffins to solve it
1. Chapter 1

One a clear day, the Griffins are outside in the garden having lunch. They are eating sub sandwiches from Subway. Peter has the roast beef, Lois has the bacon ranch, Chris has the meatball marinara, Meg has the ham and cheese, Brian has the turkey and ham and Stewiehas the chicken tikka. Stewie and Brian are having the 6" while the rest have foot longs.

"It was nice of us to eat out at Subway's," smiled Lois.

"Yeah you don't have to worry about your figure," smiled Meg.

"And if you buy more with a loyalty card, you get one for free!" smiled Chris.

"Yeah, I can mix and match toppings and filling whenever I like," said Peter. "We wouldn't be here if that jerk from the internet tearing up the place."

**Cut to flashback**

The Griffins are at Subway waiting in line. when aa guy in his early 20s enters the building. Chris points to him. "Hey look. It's That Fellow in the Coat, only he's not in a coat."

"Isn't he the guy who ripped the name from another website and made cheap internet videos?" asked Brian.

"I heard about him," replied Stewie. "That Scooby-Doo episode reactment is really gay, in a stupid way."

"You're telling me. It's one of Hanna-Barbera's greatest cartoons."

Peter sees him and stops him in his tracks. "Hey, you're the guy who ranted on Willy Wonka, butchered 2 Disney classics and mistaken E.B. White for a woman."

"Listen I have my....What was the last thing you said?"

"E.B. White is a guy, like Taylor Hanson."

"He's right," said Lois.

"The name sounds so feminine!" said Fellow.

Stewie and Brian walk over to him. "Not as much research when you ranted on today's cartoons. and by the way, Pokemon debuted in the 90s," said Stewie.

"Stewie's right. The anime is only made to sell video games it's based on. Just like Transformers in the 80s."

Chris walks to Fellow. "And how dare you badmouthed Pikachu! He's Ash's best friend! they stay together no matter what."

"I really think he's cute," replied Meg. "We all do."

The Griffins agree.

"That critter can can zap you without noticing it," Peter said.

"Do you have a favourite?" Fellow asked.

"Why do you ask?" asked Lois.

"Just wondering."

"My favourite is Mewtwo," said Stewie. "He knows how to intimidate people."

"Mine is Lugia," said Brian. "He has words of a philosopher."

"I like Snorlax. He's big and takes punches!" excited Chris.

"My favourite is Lucario," said Meg. "He has awesome psychic powers and has good looks."

"I pick Gardevoir," said Lois. "I like a creature with a mysterious look on her face."

"Well my pick is Wobbuffet, he's the Boba Fett of Pokemon," said Peter. "But enough of that, Jigglypuff is one who's anooying. That puffball got the voice of that singer from Black Lace on helium."

"Every fan knows that," confimed Meg.

"And what did you say about two Disney films?" asked Fellow

"Mulan and Black Cauldron," replied Peter.

"Mulan got positive reviews," said Meg.

"And Roger Ebert gave it a Thumbs up!" said Chris.

"Same with the Black Cauldron only it got mixed reaction and a cult following," said Stewie.

Fellow leaped and started to trash the place yelling out what he thought what the Griffins said was wrong. Cops come in and try to arrest him but broke free. Then a cop shoots him with a tazer. Peter turns to one of the employees. "We like to take our order now."

**End of flashback**

"I wonder what happened to him?" Meg asked.

"He was committed," Peter answered. "He had to spend there for 18 months for treatment."

"Oh, he'll be the king of the demented now!" Stewie said evilly.

Bonnie and Joe Swanson along with Susie arrive. They brought a basket full of food.

"Hey, Peter just dropping by," smiled Joe.

"Hi Joe, want to join us?" Peter asked.

"Sure. Maybe you could join us for dinner tonight."

"Sure," said Peter. "It's to see your wife's cooking. What do you think Lois?"

"That's a great idea," said Lois.

"Alright!" shouted the kids.

"And about time too!" remarked Stewie.

* * *

Later that night the Griffins are at the Swason's house having dinner.

"So Joe, how are things on your end?" asked Peter.

"I caught a burglar," replied Joe. "He was running towards a car so I threw a batton at him preventing his escape."

He turns to Meg and Chris. "So kids how's your day?"

"Great," said Meg. "In English class, I got an A in my book report it's called _The Beach_ by Alex Garland. It's about an Englishman who stumbles upon a secret society while exploring an uncharted area in Thailand."

"Was that made into a movie?" asked Bonnie.

"Yeah, with Leonardo Dicaprio and Tilda Swinton."

"I get to watch Requiem for a Dream in school," said Chris. "It's deals with drug addiction, and it shows Jennifer Connolly butt naked."

"I haven't heard that many exchange of words since that episode of Siskel & Ebert," said stewie muttering to himself.

**Cutaway**

Siskel and Ebert are at the balcony talking about the film they're reviewing.

"This movie is pure gold. It's got potential," smiled Ebert.

"I couldn't agree more, it's a must see," replied Siskel.

"The casting is superb, the directing is pure genius."

"It has a good script and marvelous character development."

"One of the best films this."

"You said it."

**End of Cutaway**

"You know there's demostration on how a crime is solved. If you're interested..." wondered Joe.

"I'll join," interupted Peter.

"What made you think you could be a crime solver?" asked Lois

"I just want to come just to see the real deal. Besides I love behind the scenes stuff," answered Peter.

"Nice to see something interesting for a change," said Brian. "Unlike those crime documentaries on Thursday night."

**Cutaway**

It's the evening and Peter, Brian and Stewie are watching TV. A person appears on screen.

"The victim was the younger sibling of the Carpenletstein family. They were infamous for drug trafficking and extortion. They made numerous enemies but the were enemies of themselves."

"Get on with the murder scene," said Peter. He was very bored.

"Many families were against the Carpenletsteins. They made more money than any other mob family including the Adofinchas."

"Get on with the murder scene," said Stewie. He too is bored of listening to the host.

"Whenever there's a hoedown, the Carpenletsteins always win whether it's a rival family or Swat team, they're always packing heat."

"Get on with the murder scene," said Brian. He was gnarling his teeth.

"But what's more interesting is that they have a record of the most number of connections with then police. They take bribes in numerous amouts."

"Just Get on with the murder scene!" shouted Peter, Stewie and Brian together. The host looked at them.

"OK alright. We'll come to the murder scene if you just be patient," responded the host.

"I'll give you something to be patient about," angered Peter holding the remote.

"Listen if just wait for a-"

Peter presses a button and changes the channel to CBS. The intro to Crime Scene Investigation starts playing. Brian looks at Stewie. "Should we leave?"

"Nah," replied Stewie. I like to scene how real people solve crimes."

**End of Cutaway**


	2. Chapter 2

At the corner of a street, the Griffins and Joe are near a corpse. There are forensics surrounding the area searching for evidence. Joe is talking to the family explaining what's happening.

"Here is our victim and the forensics are searching the place for any clues from pieces of clothing to bullet casings. My job is to patrol the place to see anything suspicious and preventing people from interfering the investigation."

"Who's the victim?" asked Brian.

"His name is Jim Aisle. He has a family of three who also bought the farm."

"Do you have any leads?" asked Lois.

"The husband didn't kill the family, they were murdered before he was."

"Hey Joe, do we get see the dead body?" asked Chris.

"Sure, but you need protective clothing before you could touch it."

Peter puts on some latex gloves and walks over to the body. "I'm way ahead of you."

"Hey Peter, citizens aren't suppose to..."

"Hey Joe. You should check this out."

Griffins and Joe walk to Peter near the body. He's holding a wallet, he takes out a photo of the family with a Yorkshire Terrier next to them.

"Another dog-family murder. That's the forth time this happened," said Joe.

"Oh, I meant referring to that." Peter points to a dead dog skinned near a dumpster bin. They gasp in horror.

"That's gross," revolted Meg

"It looks like last year's Thanksgiving turkey," amazed Chris.

"It looks like the dog in the photo," though Brian.

Peter turns to Joe. "Er Joe, what do you mean by _forth time_?"

"Families who own a dog have be massacred. The killer left a note on each of the murder scenes. The weird thing is, they seem to be personal, almost and act of vengeance."

"Why would someone be killing families who have a dog if the person doesn't know who if person the killer is looking for dead or alive?" asked Brian.

"I don't know Brian," worried Joe. "But all of you are in danger now that you have a dog. Your going to put in witness protection until the whole thing is solved."

"Aw man, this is one of the worst experiences we ever had?" said Peter.

"It's not that bad," replied Lois. "Remember the time when went to the Rosenearls for dinner?"

**Flashback**

Peter and Lois drove up to a house and exited their car.

"It was nice of them to invite us for dinner," smiled Lois.

"Your telling me," responded Peter. "I hope they serve caviar. They know how to handle money like any other citizen."

They enter the house only to find the entire dining room in blood. There are corpses sitting in the table with their flesh eaten away. They find a young boy gnarling at a severed arm. He looks at Lois and Peter almost as though he's about to eat them. Lois and Peter are filled with fear on the inside and trying to remain calm by pretending that this isn't happening.

"Want to go out for some hamburgers?" asked Lois.

"OK," said Peter.

They walked slowly out the door, leaving the house.

**End of Flashback**

The Griffins are at the police station, in the room for a Witness Protection Programme. Joe is in with them handing them information and giving them details.

"Not to worry, we protected people from this kind of danger. You will be protected 24/7 until this whole incident is over," informed Joe.

"You mean we'll have tall guys in black surrounding us?" amazed Stewie.

"We got the best protectors in the precint."

"Oh yeah, I'm so going to enjoy this."

"Wherever you go our men will protect you at all times."

Peter have some doubts. "Come on Joe, that's the lamest load of crap anybody has ever thought of."

"Peter we got a serial killer on the loose and you and your family might be next."

"I know that but I'm not having talls guys invading my privacy."

"I'm afraid there aren't any other options."

Lois leans over to Peter. "Joe's right. We need to be protected. There's no telling who the killer will strike next."

"Lois I have life, you have a life, everybody around me has a life. I'm not gonna have a bunch of security rejects standing by me for any reason."

"Face it dad," said Chris. "We can't afford to lose a person's life at this moment."

"Chris' right," agreed Meg. "If all of us stick together we can accomplice any goal."

"You right," realised Peter.

"Excellent," said Joe. I'll sent in the bodyguards and...."

A cop pops his head into the room via door. "Sir, we got another murder; a family and an dog."

The Griffins were surprised. Peter turns to Joe who's only half-surprised because he knew the killer will strike again. "We could need those bodyguards now," said Peter nervously.

* * *

At the griffins residence, there's an ice cream van parked outside, only it's actual a surveillancevan keeping en eye on the place. The Grirffins are inside watching TV. "We now return to Big Brother,"

**Cut to TV**

"Janice, those clothes were meant to be washed days ago now I got nothing to wear!" shouted a contestant.

"If you haven't slept with Alexander then I would be so grumpy," replied Janice.

Another contestant walks into the kitchen holding a box of washing detergeant. "If anyone needs me I'll be doing the laundry."

**Cut to Griffin's house**

"Well, I guess we're stuck here for a while," sighed Meg.

"Not necessary,"said Chris. "We can leave the house but we have to use faux IDs just to confuse the family murderer until he's caught."

"He's right," agreed Lois. "We just have make best of the situation."

"You're telling me," smiled Peter. Now that we're under protection, we get free catering."


	3. Chapter 3

The Griffins are now at the dining room table eating.

"This food isn't food at all," remarked Brian. "The whole thing is artificial."

"I guess those WTP people were having money problems," answered Stewie.

**Cutaway**

Four mem are in a room discussing the budget.

"We need to cut down on some expenses," said one of the men.

"Ok," the other. "We need to cut down on adationall wages, entertainment and food for the witnesses."

"Why?"

The man shoots the second guy in the head. "Anybody like to ask anything else?"

**End of Cutaway**

"Come on, let's solve this mystery."

"Now Stewie," diagreed Lois. "You know that it's the detective's job to solve mysteries."

"Damn you vile woman! Wow haven't said in a long time."

Glenn burts into the door in a huuried manner. He had twigs and leaves all over his clothes.

"Oh hi Glenn," Peter greeted. "Why all the rush?"

"Peter, you got to help me." Glenn was gasping for breath. "A murdered family and a dog have been found on my front lawn."

Everybody gasped with shock. "Oh my god! How did it all happen?"

"It happened when I was god googiting with some chicks..."

* * *

Glenn is under the bed sheets with three girls moving around having sex. A sound of trash cans is heard. Glenn pops up from the bed. "What was that?"

"I heard it too," said one of the girls.

"I better go and see."

Glenn puts on a dressing gown and heads outside. He sees a pile of corpses on top of each other.

"Alright an orgy!," excited Glenn.

He went over and was bout to join them when he noticed something dripping.

"Is that....Oh my God!"

* * *

"Well at least you weren't traumatised and went cuckoo in the head," said Peter.

"What made you say that?" asked Glenn.

"Saw it in a movie once."

"Why would someone just dump bodies on someone's lawn?" asked Lois.

"Maybe this person has a ment problem," suggested Meg.

"Either that or the murderer ran out of places to to dump them," suggested Chris.

"There's more," added Glenn. "I found used condoms near the bodies. I think the killer is a sex predator."

"I wouldn't be surprised if Jessica Simpson, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan were victims," thought Stewie. "Ew, even I find it disgusting."

"I'm not going to sit here and eat food from places I never heard of and let someone create massacre on Quahog. I'm going to solve this mystery and be a hero."

"Great," said Glenn.

"That reminds me, how did you get pass them?"

"I used a trick I used to lure ladies in. Come I'll show you."

Glenn and the others sneek outside carrying a plastic bucket, some rope and a bottle of liquid. They fill the bucket with cholroform and tied it to a rope. They swing the bucket and threw it on the lawn and the bodyguards run towards the source of the noise. "What was that?" one of them asked. Then all the guards collapsed.

"Wow good job," said Brian.

"I got the idea from the funny pages of last months newspaper," explained Glenn. "In it the kid who threw the bucket got hit on the noggin. It has more poor writing than an Uwe Boll film."

**Cutaway**

Uwe Boll reads the script while shooting a scene. "OK let's do the scene."

"Er excuse me," said the script supervisor. "This writing makes no sense and the grammar is bad."

"Correct the grammar," commanded Uwe. "I prefer the script the way it is."

**End of cutaway**


	4. Chapter 4

Griffins and Quagmire arrive at the police station. Quagmire takes a charge card and slides it in between the locks on the door. The doors open and they enter.

"Where did you get that card?" asked Peter.

"I found it in a prostitutes handbag while getting it on during a Francis Ford Coppola flick."

They enter the office and Brian gives them instructions. "OK, we need to find clues and leads to this case."

Everybody scattered all over the place, searching through files and checking computers. Stewie looks at a men's clothing web page and comes across some blue jeans. "Nice but I'll have to have some major ass card to buy those."

While checking through some files, Lois finds the ones on the families being manslaughtered. She laid them out on a desk and read them. Chris and Meg searched the computer files and found suspects to the murder. Glenn scavenges through the evidence with Brian. Peter meanwhile is in the morgue playing with corpses. "Hey look at me, I'm a demented patient!"

Glenn walks in seeing Peter's misbehaviour. "Peter that's filmmaker Ed Wood."

"He's better off dead anyway."

While searching the computer files, Meg and Chris made a discovery. "Hey guys come here you take a look at this!"

Everybody ran to where Chris and Meg are and lokked at the computer screen. Chris begins to read what they found. "Look at what this newspaper article. According to this, each of the families being murdered have a letter in an envelope with a big S on it and each letter has a personal vendetta."

"Why would some lunatic have a grudge against some person who we already don't know?" wondered Brian.

"That's what we want to know!" yelled Peter. "Jesus, your curiosity is more annoying than last time."

**Flashback**

Peter is searching though the trash can while Brian walked towards him from behind.

"Peter have you seen my Alex Corton '01?" Brian asked.

Peter screamed, leaped up in the air and fell in the trash can.

**End of flashback**

"That would explain the smell of Chinese when you came in," surprised Lois.

"Hey look at this!" excited Stewie.

He finds one of the letters in the evidence bag. He looks at it, the writing is in blood. Stewie begins reading it. "It says _I know what you did. I'll get my revenge and kill the one who caused the predicament. Signed Family Relative PS: I'm not doing the same thing the killer did in _I Know What You did Last Summer. _I wish it was more close to the original book. _That's pretty simple for a guy who wanted vengeance served cold. God, why do I say those words?"

"This rules out the serial killer as a sex predator," confirmed Glenn.

"What could the S mean?" wondered Peter.

Chris was examining the blood on the letter until something caught his attention. "hey wait that's not human blood, that's dog's blood."

"Dog's Blood!?" everybody exclaimed.

"Yeah, human blood doesn't turn to dark red when dried, this blood retains its colour."

"How did you know all this?" asked Meg.

"Whenever I'm bored, I browse around encyclopedias found in the attic."

* * *

Griffins and Glenn return to the house undetected from the Witness Protection Programme bodyguards. They brought the evidence with them. They enter the kitchen, placed the evidence on the table and summarise the case so far.

"OK, we all know that this killer is looking for revenge," said Brian.

"The victims are families and their dogs," said Lois.

"Each of the envelopes have a big bloody S on it, no pun intended," said Stewie.

"This person is looking for someone who ruin his life," said Peter.

There's a knock on the door. It turns out to be Joe.

"And Joe's here to bust us, quick hid everthing!" exclaimed Glenn.

They hid the evidence in numerous places: under the couch, in plant pots, in kitchen cabinets and behind the TV. Peter and Lois answers the door and Joe walks in.

"Hello I came here to tell that we know who the Family Muderer is."

Everybody gasped in shock.


	5. Chapter 5

"You found out who the killer is?" asked Lois.

"That's right. But before I say his name, did anyone notice a typo in a previous chapter?" wondered Joe.

"That's right," agreed Peter. "The author put "walked" instead of "wheeled" in a sentence."

Brian turns his head towards the forth wall. "Yeah what's the big idea? Everybody knows that Joe is paraplegic."

Listen, I wasn't thinking straight, it's just a simple mistake most people make. There's no need to raise the temper bar. Now I know how Frankie Jonas feels when he spots an error in one of his brothers' songs.

**Cutaway**

Nick, Kevin and Joe Jonas are in a studio tuning their instruments. They were about to play when Frankie came in.

"Hi, I just coming to see how are you doing," he said.

"Just making final adjustments," said Nick.

"OK I think we are ready to go," smiled Joe.

Frankie looks at the music sheet and the lyrics.

"Er, there's a mistake in the lyrics and music notes. The last four notes in the first verse are jumbled together and it's should be _many races in the track_ not _much._"

Kevin snatches the music and lyrics note off Frankie's hands. He then grabs a microphone stand and whacks him causing him to move out of the room.

"Get out now! Never ever interfere with our songwriting!"

"A simple _mind your own business _would of been nice."

**End of Cutaway**

"How did you figure out who it is?" asked Lois.

"We discovered that the evidence was stolen from the police station and we think you had something to do with it," answered Joe.

"What made you say that?" worried Peter.

"I can see a bag with a phone in it near the sofa."

Chris suddenly burst out, he couldn't handle the pressure from Joe's words. "Alright, we take some evidence from the police station. We just want to know who it is, that's until you came in."

"That would explain the running footsteps I came while coming towards the doorbell."

"We get the evidence for you," said Peter.

Glenn and the Griffins run around the house gathering the evidence they hid while the theme from Benny Hill show is played. They ran towards Joe with all the evidence in their hands.

"OK why did that Benny Hill Show music just played?" asked Joe.

"Just want it to be more comedic," said Glenn.

"Now that the evidence has been recovered, I'll tell you who the serial killer is, the killer is Aidan Fauller."

"Oh my... Huh?!" surprised everybody.

"That's right, Aidan Fauller is the Family Murderer."

"Isn't it supposed to be Family Killer?" asked Meg.

"I prefer murderer over killer, it's a personal thing."

"Come on Joe, you can't just pick a random name just to close this case," argued Peter.

"I beg to differ. When I came to his house we found blood all over the living room floor which shows he murdered his next victims and it's proven he doesn't live in the house where he committed the murder. In fact, have him right here."

Another cop drags a man where a leather jacket and blue jeans handcuffed. He doesn't look guilty and shows an honest face.

"Listen, do not listen to him I did not murder any family and their dog. I just came to the house to see what was going on. I spotted some small guy carrying hatchets to his van and drove off. He wasn't in a hurry."

"Did you see the guy's face?" asked Lois.

"No, it was dark. All I know is I saw the guy who murdered those innocent people and animals."

The cop drags him out the door. "Tell that to the judge, you'll be locked up for a very long time."

The cop takes Aidan to the car as Joe, Glenn and the Griffins watch him being taken away. Glenn stars to walk out of the house, he turns his to the Griffins. "Well I better head home. guess we have to find out the real killer tommorrow."

"Good idea," agreed Lois. "It's been a long day."

Stewie is reading _Where the Wild Things Are _on the couch. "That kid Max sure has problems before he came to that island."

* * *

The next day, the Griffins are watching TV, they couldn't get over what occured yesterday.

"That person who got arrested doesn't seem like the vicious type," pondered Lois.

"You're right there's some wierd about Joe arresting a person without explaination," agreed Brian. "He didn't show any evidence against him. There must be a way that Aidan is innocent."

**Cut to TV**

Tom Tucker and Diane Simmons are at the news desk reporting.

"Good afternoon I'm Tom Tucker."

"And I'm Diane Simmons. our top story, A family of 5 including their pet dog have been massacred today making them the victims of the Family Killer."

"We go live to Ollie Williams who's on the scene. Ollie?"

Ollie is outside the house where an ambulance and cop cars are surrounding the area.

"Their bodies' are hacked to bits!"

"Were there any witnesses?"

"Only one!"

"Where is he?"

"Inside a cell with metal bars!"

"Was he released?"

"Just now!"

"What did the police say?"

"They said sorry!"

"Thanks Ollie, next a woman who wants to be an alien? We'll be right back right after this."

**Cut back to Griffins**

"Well that's resolved very quickly," surprised Meg.

"The justice system sure knows the difference between right and wrong," agreed Stewie.

**Cutaway**

In a courtroom, the judge is reading the final statement.

"This court finds Dean Pattinson cleared of all charges. This case is dismissed."

A lawyer is reading some papers. "He they're right, armed robbery is a bigger offence than pickpocketing."

**End of Cutaway**


	6. Chapter 6

The Griffins head to the police station with the evidence they snatched earlier. They meat Joe in his office peter walks over to his desk. "Er Joe, I believe we forgot to bring these back."

He takes the evidence and places them on the desk.

"We were just trying to solve the mystery," said Lois. "Besides I don't want this family to be next."

"You do know that stealing evidence is an arrestable offence, but there won't be any charges against you."

"How come?"

"I don't know, maybe it's that funny feeling I got in my stomach."

He feels something coming out of his lower body. "Oh wait, it's just that burrito I had for lunch."

"You're telling me," said Peter. "It's like the time when I had that pie."

**Flashback**

"Alright pie!" excited Peter.

He ate the entire pie and turns to Lois. "Hey, what kind of pie is it?"

"Rhubarb."

Peter feels a bloating feeling in his abdomen. "Oh, crap."

**End of flashback**

"Enough of that," interrupted Stewie. "We found this when we collected the evidence bags."

Joe takes the bag and looks inside. "Oh it's just a cell phone.... wait. There wasn't a cell near any of the victims, where did you find it?"

"I don't know," said Lois. "It came along with the other stuff we took."

Joe takes the phone and examines it. "Hey I've seen this phone before. The cops found it in another crime scene."

"Where was it found?"

"An apartment."

He looks at the contacts page and sees 100 contacts. He spots a name _Jonas,_he presses the dial button and waits. A ring tone is heard, it's the theme of Police Academy. They looked around figuring out where the sound comes from. Meg looks inside one of the drawers. "I found it!" She takes out a bag with a phone in it and it's smeared in blood.

"So the reason why the killer is murdering all those people is that somebody he loved or cared for is deceased?" theorized Brian.

"You maybe right Brian," agreed Joe. "This person might have a personal vendetta against someone, but who and why."

"That's why you're here," said a voice.

They turn around and see a young man in his mid-20s wearing a police uniform.

"Oh, hi. Griffins I want you to meet Fergus Brennan, he's our new recruit in this precinct."

He turns his face to the family. "Joe's told me about you."

Stewie looks at Fergus. "So which part of Ireland are you from, the one with the capital city, the one with the Volunteers or the one with the kissing stone?"

"Kissing stone."

"What's it like?"

"When you're about to kiss that Blarney Stone, never use your tongue."

* * *

At the Griffins' house, Joe Fergus, the Griffins and Glenn are putting thr pieces together.

"OK, we need to figure out a pattern the serial killer has made," said Fergus.

"How come? asked Chris.

"You see," said Peter. "Every murderer has a pettern whenever he makes thte killings. Like me when I make Origami."

**Cutaway**

Peter has made 10 origami models and lines them up in a row.

"OK what shall I do know?"

He snaps his fingers and takes out a felt-tip marker and starts to colour them.

Later each Origami model has mix of hippie-style colours.

"Wow, tripping out man!"

Meg comes into the room. "Hey dad have you seen my markers?"

"I used them to colour my Origami models. I ran out of red so I used my own blood."

Peter collapses on the floor.

**End of cutaway**

"We all know the victims are families with their pet dogs," Lois.

"And each of them contains a letter in an envelope with a S written in blood," said Joe.

"But isn't it strange that the victims live on the same street?" asked Peter thoughtfully.

There was a long silence.

"You know," wondered Chris. "Isn't it weird that all the victims live at Spooner Street?"

"That's right," surprised Fergus. "This killer has grudge against somebody who killed a person he loved or cared for and lives on Spooner Street."

"And we're next!" excited Peter.

Sounds of crickets are heard. ""Where are that sound coming from?" asked Brian.

They turned their heads and see 4 crickets on one of the desks. One of them speaks out. "Continue talking or I'll crawl in your ears!"

"According to the addresses of families who own a dog," said Fergus. "The next victims are The Solebrotis. Then it's The Griffins which is you."

"I guess we have to catch them in the act," suggested Glenn.

"And I'll be helping out the investigation," concured Fergus.

"Excellent," smiled Joe. "this case will shut in milliseconds. Pity the only cops I have are the idiotic kind."

He points to 3 cops at a map with coloured pins.

"OK, there hasn't seem to be any pattern yet," said first cop. "I was thinking of taking these and move them there."

He starts to move the pins around the map. "And hello, it almost look like an arrow.

"Hey look," said second cop. "It's pointing right at our police station."

"Let's get out of here!" exclaimed third cop.

The three run out of the building screaming.


	7. Chapter 7

The Griffins are at the Solebrotis residence. The two families have full eye to eye contact, Solebrotis have been in rough times but being as the next targets for a mass murderer is a new experience.

"Mr and Mrs Solebroti," said Lois. "You're next on the Family Killer's list, you're not safe."

"I heard," answered Mr. Solebroti. "But why us?"

"Don't you see?" explained Brian. "You own a dog and live on Spooner Street. This person has a personal grudge."

"Why would this killer be killing families like us?" asked Mrs. Solebroti.

"That's what we want to know," said Peter. "Hey where's Quagmire? Must of gone off having sex while we're busting our butts solving a crime more mysterious than a murder mystery party."

**Cutaway**

The Griffins, Swansons and Glenn are dressed up in 19th century clothes. Peter is in the center of the room and the others are on a couch.

"OK everybody, I brought you all here because one of you is a murderer," said Peter. "And the murderer is......me."

Everybody was in confusion.

"How could you be the person who iced Lord O'Bannon?" asked Meg.

"Oh rats, I'm not supposed to reveal everything on that character card."

**End of cutaway**

"We just have to catch the killer in the act and since you're his next targets, you'll just might be the bait," said Lois.

"I don't know," doubted Mr. Solebroti. "This family has been in dangerous situations: terrorism, dug trafficking, antique smuggling......organised crime-"

"Leonard," interupted Mrs. Solebroti. "Let's not go too far."

Two kids run in along with their dog. The son starts to talk, "Hey mom, dad, you think the family killer will get us?"

"Not to worry, those people will help besides they're packing heat."

Fergus rushes in the front door looking tired. "Sorry I'm late I had to find Glenn."

He shows Glenn dragging by his feet. "I found him in a strip club."

"Hey, it was only to pass the time."

"If you want to know the time, buy yourself a damn watch."

"Hey, where's Joe?"

Peter turns his head towards Glenn. "Oh that reminds me, I put him on lookout."

* * *

Joe is suspended in the air on a harness with binoculars and a walkie.

"Well it's better than being on the roof."

* * *

"Listen the case is closer to be cracked," Fergus continued talking. "Griffins and I have to make sure that this place has proper security while you sleep at night."

"This better end soon," disgruntled Peter. "Inside the actor's studio is on tonight, Lipton is interviewing Chevy Chase!"

The Solebroti dog heads towards Fergus and looks up. "When this is over, can I fancy a little 411 on your companion?" he asked.

"Sorry I own a rabbit."

"That's a disappointment. Like getting an autograph from Tone Loc."

**Cutaway**

Solebroti Dog and Tone Loc are at backstage of a rap concert, music is blazing in the background. He takes out a pen and notepad. "Hey Tone will you gimme an autograph? I'm a big fan."

"If it's for about my performance in New York, tell those soccer moms to back off."

**End of cutaway**

The Solebrotis start to have butterflies in their stomachs but realised that their fates might change for the better. Mr. Solebroti starts to fill himself hope if not fear. "I really hope this will blow over with your assistance."

"OK then," answered Lois. "We'll be setting a trap to catch him and be on the lookout with everything we got."

Stewie soon smiles with delight. "I hope we go out fo ice-cream after this. I'm in the mood for Rocky Road."

* * *

Fergus and the Griffins are in their hiding spots. Fergus is in a surveillance van disguised as a delivery van; Peter and Lois are lying on the lawn covered in camouflage; Chris and Meg are hiding behind some bushes and Brain and Stewie are inside the house via basement, 4 minutes of silence. There's a rustle in the bushes, a figure steps out covered in black carrying a bag. Joe sees him and picks up his walkie. "Fergus, there's somebody heading towards the house it might be the target."

Fergus answered the transmission. "Gotcha I'm going to alert the Solebrotis."

Fergus dials a number and Mr. Solebroti answers the phone. "Hello?"

"Solebroti, there's a mysterious figure heading towards your house."

Solebroti hangs up and alerts the family. The kids find the figure climbing though the window. They give chase and jumped on him. Mister and Mrs Solebroti run outside and Fergus jumped out of the van with his gun.

"Hey get off me!" said the figure.

Fergus takes of the hat used as a mask Mrs Solebroti was surprised. "Eric?"

"You know this guy?" asked Joe.

He falls off the harness and lands in a nearby wheelchair. "Good thing I brought my handy wheels with me."

"Yes, he's my partner. We work at Dawson Enterprises."

"It appears that he's the cat buglar we've been trying to catch since March,"

Eric struggles but Fergus handcuffs him.

"Why would you do such a thing?" asked Mrs Solebroti.

"I'm only stealing stuff just sell them for extra cash."

"So all of this is to earn a quick buck?"

"Afraid so."

Fergus begins to feel suspicious. "Wait a second, something's wrong here."

"What do you mean?" asked Mr. Solebroti.

"I'm getting the feeling that this is just a setup. It's like the Family Killer knew that Eric was going to rob the house so he had the chance to..... kidnap the Griffins!"

One of the kids calls out to them. "Mom, Dad; the Griffins are gone!"

Solebroti dog walks out holding a glass. "Hey this drink taste wierd is there something wrong with the punch?"

Joe yells out. "Yeah I spiked it."


	8. Chapter 8

"I knew this was going to happen!" Fergus exclaimed. "That killer knew thing whole staking out thing could be used to his advantage!"

Joe comes up to them. His back was aching from the fall after Fergus put Eric into custody. "Either he wanted the Griffins or he had a grudge against them the whole time."

"I'll get to it, right now we have to escort this fellow employee to the station."

"I'll take care of it." Joe presses a button on the arm rest of his wheelchair and a helicopter comes down from the sky. Two cops come out and take Eric inside. The helicopter flies up into the air, the Solebrotis were impressed.

"Where did that come from?" asked Mr. Solebroti.

"I had this button installed in case of emergencies or tricky situations," replied Joe. "I was banned for week for personal gain."

**Cutaway**

Joe is out on lawn watering flowers, he stopped for a moment and presses the button on his wheelchair. The chopper lowers on the lawn and Joe gets in. Moments later, the chopper lands on his lawn and Joe is thrown out along with his Chinese takeaway. "You call that an emergency?" shouted the pilot.

"It IS an emergency. I have hunger that need justice!" said Joe.

"Same with the last guy who said that."

"What do you mean?" asked the co-pilot.

"The last guy got food poisoning."

"Where did he get the food from?"

"Wendy's"

The co-pilot gulped in a worried way realising he had recently been to the same place as the person being mentioned.

**End of Cutaway**

"We can't let that mass murderer kill the Griffins," remarked Mrs. Solebroti. "We have to save them."

"I'm way ahead of you," said Fergus pulling out an electronic pad.

"Before the Griffins were kidnapped, I planted GPS trackers in their bodies."

He turns it on and a display of a map of Quahog. 5 blimps appear on the radar, they're at a far location. "It appears that Mr. X is going to a surprise party and we're invited."

"I better send in SWAT," said Joe. "This guy doesn't kid around."

"Need help?" said a voice. The voice belonged to Glenn Quagmire. He walked towards them, he had heard everything.

"Where have you been?" angered Fergus.

"I had my own investigation."

"Investigating which girl had AIDS?"

"Er, actually it's HSV type 2 but that's not why I came here. After a little googiting, one of the ladies spilled the beans on the mysterious murderer."

"What did you get?"

"Apparently this killer actually made love to the woman I just gagoogitied, good thing I wore a condom. But the weird thing is that she mentioned that the way he handled her was so vicious that she almost broke a hip."

"Glad you came here we could use all the help we can get."

He turned around and something caught his eye, the Solebrotis are lying on the grass along with their dog. Both Joe and Glenn are surprised as well. They rushed over and felt no pulse from either of them.

"They've been poisoned," said Joe.

"That killer got them pretties and their little dog too," said Glenn.

Fergus knows that there's not a single second to lose. He checks his pad and the location of the bleeps is displayed. "We have to go to 98 Murphy Terrace and we need backup."

He presses a button and a SWAT van drives up in front of them.

"How did that van get here?" wondered Joe.

"You summoned a chopper, I summoned an armoured van," Fergus answered. "Now come on."

They entered the van and drove off. Glenn then became confused. "Hey Joe where's SWAT? They're supposed to be helping us."

"I've just been informed that they're taking down a drug lord and have no men remaining, which means we're on our own."

Fergus slams his foot on the pedal and increases speed.

* * *

The Griffins are tied up to chairs in an empty room. They came to 10 minutes ago. They scanned all over the room; nothing happened; it was all dead silence. Peter starts to feel a shudder down his back. "OK, whoever's rubbing my back, stop before I'll pound you like Christian Slater in that Rob Cohen film."

"Sorry," said Meg. "I'm just shaky that's all."

"We all are," worried Lois.

"Not me," smiled Stewie. "I'm just admiring the interior. You know that fan could use a little less grease."

A light switches on above their heads, it was dim as a car light. Nobody can be seen from the family's POV. A voice is heard via speaker. "Glad you could make it. I've been waiting along time for this. You took away what was mine and I'm here to return the favour."

"If it's about that prank call I made to Pizza Hut, I did it because I was bored," Chris butted in.

"I used to be like you, rebellious and sometimes ignorant. But now I'm grown up and independent. But that's not why I brought you here, I brought you here so I can enjoy your pain."

"What did we ever do to you?"

"I'm not talking about me, I'm talking about my sibling."

"Sibling?" the Griffins said at the same time.

"You mean you actually kidnapped us and planning to kill us because one of us took the life of you sibling?" surprised Brian.

"You better believe it. He was hacked to bits and dumped with blood and flesh inside a garbage bag."

"But why kill families?"

"I was trying to find out who's responsible and that's before I did some investigation."

* * *

Fergus, Joe and Glenn arrived at the location where the Griffins are being held, it's abandoned apartment building 20 stories high. They put on bulletproof vests and armed themselves with sub machine guns containing amour-piercing ammo. "OK let's split up," suggested Joe. "We'll cover more ground."

Glenn and Fergus agreed and the three moved into the building. They searched every room on each floor as quickly as they could. When they meet each other at the roof top, they came to a realisation. "Basement!" they exclaimed. They turned around and head downstairs at a breakneck pace. Joe just just took the lift and hit the button for the basement. "Why would it still be operating after this building abandoned?" he wondered.

* * *

"Now that all of you are here," said the voice. "I'll make sure you'll suffer the same fate as my brother."

"Hey wait," wondered Peter. "Why go for families living in Spooner Street?"

"Let's just say that my occupation involves taking out the trash."

Fergus and Glenn arrived at the basement and Joe wheeled out of the lift. They hear distant voices almost as though the place is haunted.

"OK, the killer is down that hall so let's keep our eyes peeled," commanded Fergus. "Remember the Griffin family's life is hanging in the balance."

The three scattered in different directions with their guns in hand.

* * *

"After discovering blood stains on Spooner Street after before discovering his body I knew somebody living there is responsible," continued the voice. "While I was killing those families with their dogs, I found out where the blood leads to... your own house."

"Why families with dogs?" asked Lois.

"I know Jonas very well. Everything he does and his intentions, he sometimes have a stay with family, they treat him like he's one of their own. He's homeless but I let him stay with me whenever he wants."

"Did you find out which of us killed your brother?" asked Meg.

"After examining the parts, I found out that the remains are in small pieces; a normal human would have chopped it in about 5-10 pieces depending on the person chopping and the victim itself. This can only be accomplished by your younger child. Stewie Griffin!"

Everybody gasped and looked towards Stewie in shock. Then an axe drops to their feet, it's covered in dried blood and dirt on the handle.

"That's the axe that killed my brother. The fingerprints on it were small so I knew it was somebody at a young age."

* * *

Joe, Glenn and Fergus regrouped and found a room filled with photos and newspaper clippings the photos show blurred figure before and after each murder. Fergus looks at the Newspaper clippings, they explain that families have been killed by the blurred person in the photos.

"There's something wierd here," pondered Glenn.

"You're telling me," answered Joe. "Why would the killer have pictures of himself and newspapers of his doings?"

"I know one thing," said Fergus. "The killer has some mental disorder either from his past or present life. Come on we got to hurry."

They leave the room in a flash and head down a nearby staircase.

* * *

The voice finishes off his talk. "Now that he's no longer with us, I'm going to make him proud by finding the person responsible. Without further ado, I got someone that needs a lesson in..."

A sound of gun firing is heard on the speaker, the Griffins began to untie themselves. Fergus Glenn and Joe found where the voice came from and began to open fire. The figure was wearing a mask and a cloak; he ran out of the room and the three gave chase. They ran towards a corridor and Joe came up with an idea. "one of us should find Peter and the others while the rest catch him."

"OK," Glenn and Fergus answered. They each head off in different directions.

Joe found them and helped them untie from the chairs. Peter breathes a sigh of relieve. "Thanks Joe, few more minutes and we'll be chopped pork."

"Don't you mean liver?" asked Brian.

"Hey, offal gives me the cramps and don't want to hear from it."

"Come on," said Joe. "Fergus and Quagmire are chasing the killer and they need our assistance."

* * *

The figure was running fast and a mile behind him are Glenn and Fergus. They came to two corridors, Fergus went to the one on the left and Glenn went to the one on the right.

The Griffins and Joe were rushes towards a lift until a javelin landed near their feet preventing their escape. The figure was on the walk way holding a hunting rifle. "I'm ready, are you?"

"You won't get away with this," angered Peter.

Glenn ran towards them trying to catch his breath. "Hey, did you manage to find...forget it."

When he spotted the figure he knows he's in deep mud.

"Now that you're all here," the figure continued. "You're about to witness my vengeance being completed."

He walks down a metal staircase holding the rifle. "Those Solebroti brats were just a pawn in my game."

As the figure comes closer, Joe moves his arm close to his gun while the others just stood wondering what might happen next.

"You never think of yourselves for one bit. You never think of others around you. I can help you change your ways so that the world while be a better planet for living. I'm not the one who has to make the decisions, it's every person's. I may have a troubled life, but that doesn't stop me from getting what I want."

He lifts the rifle in ready to fire position. "I didn't bring you here to make everybody happy, I did it to make me feel relieved...for once."

A sub machine fires and the figure gets hailed and then capped on the head killing him. They turn around and see Fergus holding the gun, still smoking. He smiles and walks towards them. "Delays can be annoying."

He kneels down to the lifeless body and removes the mask, everybody except Fergus gasped in shock. The figure all this time is a dog. It's revealed that his brother stayed with the Griffins as the _new Brian_ after Brian got injured while trying to rescue Peter after a Jackass-style stunt went wrong.

* * *

Later while the cops are searching the apartment, Fergus tells Glenn, Joe and the Griffins on the dog he killed. "I found info that you'll be interested. His name is Cyrus the brother of Jonas. You may recognise him."

He pulls out a photo and the Griffins were surprised. "Hey that's New Brian!" surprised Peter. "The one who brightened our spirits."

"And the one behind the family killings," interrupted Fergus. "Before Jonas was killed by Stewie, he kills families due to a mental disorder. He may seem happy and smiling all the time but he's doing it just to hide his true feelings. Jonas often does nasty deeds behind their backs. When the family exceed his expectations he hacks them until the house becomes a bloodbath."

"You mean we let in a murderer who's the brother of another murder?" surprised Lois. "How could we be so stupid?"

"Not exactly, Cyrus actually killed families who own a dog just to find the person responsible."

"How did Cyrus know it's a family who owned a dog?" asked Brian.

"He found dog feces in the trashcan."

Joe wheels towards smiling. "Congratulations Fergus, you've been promoted to sergeant."

He hands him a sergeant badge and the two shoke hands.

"What do you want to do now that you're sergeant?" asked Glenn.

"I was thinking of Bowling and a dinner," suggested Fergus. "I could use some gourmet and excitement."


End file.
